Lockdown ups and downs

I'm one of those people for whom shielding during lockdown initially provided an unexpectedly welcome chance to stop, and to regain my strength and composure. This made me realise that I'd been doing too much for too long, and that I probably should review some of my commitments going forward. This was a real wake-up call, and I'm determined as lockdown eases that I will be more selective about how much I now take on again.

On the downside, I lost my mum during lockdown, and going through that experience with fewer of the social support systems we used to have has been hugely challenging. In fact it still doesn't feel real. I never expected, for example, to have to drive myself to the funeral and sit apart from my family, but I did it. It was so far beyond anything I'd ever expected that it makes me wonder how much we rely on our interactions with others to validate and confirm our experiences. I hope people do get the chance to resume attending funerals in groups, once it's safe to do so. Equally, I've drawn from my own experience that we are all stronger than we think, and that we can do what seems impossible if we really have to.

My 'new normal' post-lockdown would involve going out more in town again, and being able to stop for a chat with people, like I used to. I don't travel very far anyway, and sometimes going out feels scary - but we only get one chance at life, so it has to be done.

I'm lucky to be retired, so perhaps it's easy for me to say because I don't have to satisfy an employer, but I hope that other people also now see the value of staying local, driving less, buying from local shops, and not rushing around as quickly as we all did before. And we must value and spend time with our loved ones, because there are no guarantees about how long we have together.

Overall, I guess I want, for all of us, the chance to embrace life, and to follow our dreams. After all, if we can survive a pandemic, we can be who and what we really want to be. And if not now, when?